It's becoming harder and harder to sleep.

Ahhh, the time has come. I've been fearing this day for awhile..
I am a total back sleeper. Sometimes, just to switch it up, I sleep on one of my sides. So, to be told that I have to sleep on just my left side for 5 months, seems like total torture to me. Now I have been practicing, and sometimes I even tell A to roll me over if he sees me sleeping on my back. He never does. He could sleep through a 757 crashing downstairs and not even bat an eye. Jerk.
I don't actually have to start sleeping on my side until I am 20 weeks along. Too bad I didn't make it even that long before I started tossing and turning. I'm just short of 18 weeks and I wake up more than ever. My bed feels like I'm sleeping on a cardboard box and I can't get into a comfortable position for anything. Everytime I wake up, I find myself sleeping on my back. It kills me when I have to get up in the mornings.
Okay, okay, a bit dramatic, I know..but until you've had to sleep restlessly 5 months pregnant..you don't really have a clue. ;)
So after a couple of sleepless nights, I've decided to invest in a body pillow. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am a review freak. I read reviews for hours, before I can decide to buy something I'm not sure about. So just like everything else, I read every review out there on every single body pillow ever made. I still can't decide on one. I don't know if it's the idea of dropping 50 - 100 bucks on a pillow that I don't even know if I'll end up using that deters me, or the fact that almost all of the body pillows out there have gotten some really bad reviews. Either way, I'm going to buy one because the idea of sleeping this badly for more than a few months sounds like my own personal hell.

Right now, it's between these two..

Cozy Cuddler Total Body pillow, which you can find at BabyAge.com for just 39.99

 Leachco - All nighter pregnancy pillow for 50.00 at Walmart.com.

The Leachco has gotten over 569 really great reviews, and both look and feel really comfy. And after seeing the more pricey one's at Babies R Us, Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, and Amazon, these definitely seem like the best.
So.. in the next few days I will decide on one and report back. And until then, please, please, let me get a good night's rest...

15 week ultrasound!

Today we have our first, second trimester appointment with our new "amazing up and coming doctor". I am really nervous, because we switched to an entirely new doctor and after all the mix-ups, we really don't want to have to wait anymore. I found this doctor after a full day of hassles on the phone with doctors offices and my insurance provider. Her reviews were amazing from other moms to be, so I decided to give her a try. I called my friend Jenn, who has worked for a OBGYN in the same area for many years, and she gave her a rave review. Great to know!
My main concern the last few weeks is that everything is going alright. For some reason, I'm really nervous about baby's health and I know there is a huge amount of things that can go wrong. I try to always be a really positive person, but sometimes everyone needs to be reassured. Like I said before, its just in my nature to worry...
As soon as we got there and I talked to the staff, I chilled out a little. We walked into our room and waited for our Doc. When she came in and started talking to us about everything I felt at ease. To our surprise, she also said we were also going to get an ultrasound at this appointment. Yippee!
As soon as she put the wand on my belly, the image of the baby with it's little hands waving around popped up. Little bean really gave us quite a show and even turned on it's side so we could see its face from the front. Our doc said, "You guys really have a little boxer in there.The baby looks right on target and everything looks really great. The baby is growing right where it needs to be and the heartbeat looks awesome." Amazing! All my worries and the doubts totally melted away. I feel quite the accomplished mommy, just knowing that everything I have done to this point has been a-ok! It is seriously the most amazing experience seeing how much progress your baby has made and how much it's able to grow over just 15 weeks.
This seems silly, but for awhile I actually wondered if I was really pregnant! Of course, I knew I was, but since you're not able to feel it moving around, it's unbelievable sometimes to really fathom that there's really a baby in there.
All in all an amazing experience. It's days like these that I realize how truly blessed I really am. And oh so thankful.

All I want is a turkey sandwich!

I've been pretty lucky in terms of morning sickness. I wake up in the mornings starving and nauseous. Usually the nausea only lasts until I eat and then I'm okay.
The weirdest part about eating has been my food aversions. I don't like a lot of the foods that I used to enjoy, and foods I never cared for I now find myself wanting. I'm not really craving anything in particular, and I haven't had any really strange cravings like women always say they do while pregnant. I have noticed, however that fruit
tastes amazing, particularly watermelon. Salty foods taste extra salty, so much that I can't enjoy them like I used too. The weirdest thing I've noticed while nauseous amd hungry, is my absolute love and want for turkey subs! Not just any turkey subs, but one's from this amazing little deli not far from my house. I've been eating them every single day for two weeks straight. I don't know what it is about them that curbs the nausea, but something about the softness of the bread, the cheese, and the mayo, that seems to calm my stomach. Normally, I love to switch up my food choices, but I've been totally content eating this everyday, no problem. It wasn't until I started doing some research about foods to eat while pregnant, that I realized I should be avoiding turkey & deli meats altogether because of Listeria. For those of you that don't know, Listeria is a bacteria that can grow in contaminated foods, such as water, vegetables, soil, and undercooked meats. They can be especially harmful to both mother and baby. Here is a great link from American Pregnancy on Listeria and pregnancy.
Well, there goes my love for turkey sandwiches! Now, I just have to find a replacement....


But... all this talk about food has left me wondering.  How many women have had the same thing happen? Has anyone had a craving for turkey sandwiches? Has anyone eaten them? Any other weird food aversions? 

The Big News...

I knew something was up...

Normally when I go to Disneyland, I'm ecstatic, like an 8 year old kid in a candy store. Running around the park, trying to beat the masses in every line, eating every sweet I can get my hands on. But this time was different. The entire trip started out with me feeling agitated, moody, and tired. I chalked it up to PMS.

The weeks to come left me totally exhausted and not feeling like my normal self. My boobs were sore, I was sweaty, and totally unable to get through most days at work. After a missed period and a couple of negative pregnancy tests, I still knew something was going on. So, one night after A got off work, we went to the drugstore for one more test. This time, I couldn't wait. I opened it up and headed straight for the bathroom. The sign on the stick was a very faint + and I instantly felt queazy and faint. I came out with a long face, and A knew exactly what the test said. I started to cry on the drive home. Not from excitement, but from a complete wave of shock and nerves. I didn't think we were ready yet, and even though we talked numerous times about having kids, it's only talk until something real happens. And when it happens, then it becomes just a little too real. 

That night was a total wave of emotions. From happy to sad, to crying to exhausted, to happy and excited all over again. And while most people expect that news to be the best day of their entire lives, I still had some convincing to do.  

Don't get me wrong. I know I'll be a great mother. I have no doubt in my mind, that I will be anything less than. Sure, motherhood will have it's up and down's, and it will be trying, but this has been something I've wanted since I can remember. I love children. I've worked with kids, nannied, and taught preschool for the better half of my life. But, there was still that selfish part of me that had a hard time thinking about what I would be giving up.  How would I quit being able to go out and have fun? Cocktails with my girls? Trips to wherever, whenever. My grueling 90 hour work schedule during football season, which would now be coming to an end. Having to constantly worry over what I'm putting in my body, and how it could be affecting my child. Then the my obsession with shopping, and buying clothes that I wouldn't be able to fit in anymore.  

I started to feel guilty. Like I was blessed with something that I didn't deserve. 

Giving up alcohol the next day seemed ridiculously hard (not so much the alcohol, as the going out with my friends and socializing part), but after a week or two, I didn't even miss it. Giving up cigarettes was so much easier than I had ever expected. My friends and family were amazing not to smoke around me, just because they knew I had quit, which helped tremendously. Taking my prenatal vitamins became like second nature. The hardest part though, was giving up my daily Sugar Free Rockstar addiction. That mixed with various energy boosters, and almost all caffeine. That is something I still struggle with, and probably will until the day I don't have to anymore. 

After a couple of weeks passed, things got easier. I had decided to put all my energy and time into preparing myself for what was to come. Putting the focus on my body and mind was a huge help. I bought books, read blogs and forums, dealt with insurance, made doctors appointments, looked at product reviews. I had decided to try and embrace being pregnant.

After a little bit of time, the guilt faded. I realized that I shouldn't be ashamed for feeling scared or nervous. Every new mom has worries and feelings of doubt. Every woman worries about the changes that will happen to their bodies. Motherhood is a HUGE adjustment, and while I always worry in excess, I am adapting to my new lifestyle the only way I know how. And that's okay,because all the thinking you end doing while you worry, just makes you that much more prepared.